“What’s in a name? Well Juliet, I’ve figured that one out for you!

That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. As one should think… right? Well I guess our lovely health insurance companies do not necessarily feel the same. I was put on a new medication recently that I was supposed to pick up today. Now the side effects are rather grim in some cases, so naively I asked the pharmacy if I could get the name brand of said prescription. They said of course, and they would be happy to oblige. So there I am, happy in my security of full health benefits, thinking at the very most it would be only a few extra dollars than my normal copay.

I pull up to the drive-thru, happy to be embarking on a journey that could help me feel healthier soon and tell them my name and birthdate, not really paying attention when I hear a price that makes me do a double take, mouth dropped open into stunned silence. Once I find my voice I squeak, “Could you please repeat that?” Surely I must have misunderstood.

Alas, my ears were working and what should normally be only $10 was turned into $260. Yes, a $260 copay. For name brand, non generic medicine. now if I may impart the difference between the two…

A generic drug is the same as a brandname drug in dosage, safety, strength, quality, the way it works, the way it is taken and the way it should be used. FDA requires generic drugs have the same high quality, strength, purity and stability as brandname drugs. Not everybrandname drug has a generic drug

yes, the description states it is the SAME. HA!

I hate to tell you Juliet, but no, That which we call a rose by any other name does not smell as sweet, in fact, it smells an awful lot like bullshit.

Looks like I will be sticking to the generic, I mean it’s all the same anyway… right?

Happiness and heartbreak

Today as I walked up the hill with Big Dude (my 6 yr old)  to school the closer we got the more something happened. Every step closer I could feel the warmth of his tiny little fingertips recede from mine, until before I knew it, I was just holding air. I causally glanced back to see him walking with his head held high, longingly glancing at all the older kids, and it struck me that my baby is growing up. My youngest is coming to an age where he doesn’t want to be seen as a baby anymore and I can tell that it is as painful for him as it is for me.

I know this because every other second he would again grasp my hand, holding my fingers tight, almost as if in a war with himself. Neither of us wanted to let go and yet… yet we did. My babyboy is in his last 3 weeks of kindergarten. I know these next 12 years will go by in a blink, and it breaks my heart. My daughter is about to be on her last 3 years of school. My middle son will be in 7th grade come fall. I turned 38 this month and I already have a child who is only 3 years away from being an adult, one who is almost a teenager and one who can now read, write, add, and not hold his mama’s hand without being self conscious.

I would ask where does the time go, however, I already know the answer. Time goes by in the fleeting moments. The happiness and heartbreak that happens simultaneously moments. The unforgettably forgettable moments.  The moments where you watch your child grow in the blink of an eye, where they age from one second to the next as they discover something new, or achieve a new understanding about the way life works, or they stop holding your hand…

Being a parent means having your heart broken a million times to see your child grow up. It means having it fill to bursting with pride as you watch them pull away and find confidence to walk their paths alone.  I know at the end of the day, he will hold my hand again and I can pretend for a few moments more that he is still my dear little baby boy. But, I am not a selfish woman, or so I like to tell myself, ha. No, while the space in my hands may soon be empty, my heart will fill as I watch him grow and catch up to his siblings. Fill and be proud, but oh it will ache too. The unconditional love that comes from a child pre-hormone, before that adolescent angsty love that is a double edged sword until they have found themselves and can love you unconditionally again kinda love, that love is a present, one they give you to get through those tough teenage years. One I hold on to tight.

Happiness and heartbreak, oh my monkies, I wouldn’t give it up for the world.IMG_20150218_072331

Query and First 250 Of Signal Against Noise for The Writer’s Voice

Thank you for hosting http://www.kristavandolzer.com/ http://www.brenda-drake.com/ http://monibw.blogspot.com/ http://www.elizabethbriggs.net/ http://www.kimberlypchase.blogspot.com/ and http://nikkiroberti.com/  and for the opportunity at a chance in the contest.

Signal Against Noise

Query-

The only thing sixteen-year-old mutant-born Haley ever dreams of is the touch of her mother— that, and what it would feel like to melt down the compound she’s been raised in from birth. Add to the fact that Haley can retain first memories, and those consist of her mother’s screams; suffice it to say, Haley is slowly losing her mind. Especially when the voice in her head driving her to kill just happens to be her mom.

Haley’s an anomaly; as a blood-shifter she can heal or kill depending on her mood. When Haley finds a puppy who is also mutant-born everything changes. Coda shields her from the voices and keeps her urges in check.

Between the love and friendship she finds with her dog and meeting a strange time-traveling boy who swears he’s her brother Haley finally finds a purpose in her life. But when the boy suffers a near-fatal seizure and loses all memory of Haley, she becomes separated from Coda. Haley must learn to control her ever-evolving powers and the voices in her head before they take over completely or she’ll end up destroying the world she’s come to love.

SIGNAL AGAINST NOISE is a YA Urban Fantasy novel told from the viewpoints of Haley and KC. Complete at 80,000 words, it would appeal to fans of X-Men: First Class and The Mortal Instruments series. It stands alone but has series potential.

Thank you for your time. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely, Cassandra Newbould

First 250

Their first mistake was keeping me alive. Unfortunately for them, it wasn’t their last.

The thought runs through my head on repeat. I need to get out of here. Today! Now!

It’s a cadence that builds and ebbs like the tides of the sea. It’s starting to pull me out again. The last time I tried to escape the Front’s grasp they kept me locked and collared for three weeks. Three weeks without feeling. How do you escape the only life you’ve ever known? How can you stay in a life where you are not loved?

“Haley… Hey, Haley–where are you right now?” The sound of Ben’s voice soothes my soul.

My eyes try to focus as I inhale slowly. My nails are digging raw trenches into the palms of my clenched fists. Ben plops down hard on the bed beside me.

“You’re totally spacing out. Pretty soon we’ll need to leash you just to have a conversation.” The gentle pressure of his hand on my shoulder makes me jump.

“If you don’t watch it, Benni-boy, you’ll be conversing with my fist in a minute.”

“Man, you’re touchy today.”

I shrug in agreement. Stale air makes me crave the taste of a fresh breeze tickling my tongue. I want to hold the blue sky in my eyes, to get lost in the snow-white clouds; feel the multiple ice crystals converge against my skin until I fall to the ground, shattering on the humans below.

“I can’t take these walls anymore. They’re closing me in.”

Elusion Ramble Bamble

Oh man so here is my first post on my new blog. I’ve only used tumblr before. For some reason I’ve always been trepidatious about posting my views for the world to see. Not for fear of judgement from others. But because then, it solidifies what was once just fleeting thoughts. Giving them a purpose, if the purpose is only for me, well, still… To see my mind in black and white is a tad overwhelming. Of course, considering I am on the path of being a writer, perhaps I should get used to that lol. Granted, when I write, I write from my imagination, and that, is not nearly such a scary thing to me as reality 😉

which brings me to my favorite, and one of my first posts I ever had on Tumblr.

http://elusionramblebamble.tumblr.com/post/5596922117/the-art-of-talking-shit
The Art of Talking Shit

what is so orgasmically satisfying about talking shit? From the first word spewed out in a mouth to mouth tussle, be it a duel , or a group act, there is nothing that can even come close to the feeling after slamming someone good.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not necessarily referring to talking shit in a negative way to someone whom you think is an asshole/you are better than them (although that does have it’s time and place and can be just as satisfying)

oh no, I am talking about the friendly banter that goes on between friends. The tease, if you please, that borderlines on inappropriate and often below the belt, sub par humor, the punchline that has your friends making whoaaaaaaa noises and giving high fives all the while you and said opponent are laughing your asses off because lets face it, when you are really talking a good game of shit everyone is the winner regardless of the outcome.

humor at its best. Fuck, I don’t know if there is anything I like better.

I refuse to be friends with anyone who can’t keep up.  If you ever want to keep my attention, be my keyboard killer, open your mouth and say ahh

Ahh. Nothing better than a tongue dual, will always be one of my favorite pastimes.